Crimes against English: September 2010 Archives

Gun Oil

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I stumbled upon an interesting product on today: a very male oriented lube called Gun Oil.


Okay, I get it. A man's penis is his gun. And not only can you get "gun oil" for your man-gun, but it is "rapid-fire lubricant in a leak-proof pump." Hmmm...rapid-fire to me sort of suggests premature ejaculation.

Read the blurb and it only gets stranger:
"When you encounter heavy action, this premium lubricant keeps your most important weapon well oiled. The concept for this high-tech formula was deployed by Marines from Operation Desert Storm who lubed up with actual military-issue gun oil in the trenches of the Kuwaiti battlefields. Gun Oil won't dry out and provides a long-lasting glide. Perfect for face-to-face maneuvers or solo missions...Gun Oil is condom safe and contains no spermicide."

Who wrote this ad?

"...lubed up with actual military-issue gun oil in the trenches of the Kuwaiti battlefields?"

That sentence in particular is just so odd in this context it brings up a few issues:

1. It sounds bad for your health. Military issue gun oil has got to be irritating to sensitive tissues.
2. It would seem hard to get in the mood while in a trench in Kuwait.
3. Were these "face-to-face maneuvers" or "solo missions?"

Believe it or not, the product actually got some good reviews.

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This page is a archive of entries in the Crimes against English category from September 2010.

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